Who am I?

I'm Skeletor, bitch. You betta recognize.

Things I Hate, Vol. 7,042

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(grit teeth)

What's the 'I' stand for again?

I just got, and whupped up on, the demo for tribes: vengeance. the demo was one of the lamest demos of all time. well, I mean, the actual gameplay, weapons, and whatnot were top-shelf. It's just that it was a 400-odd meg download, and there was this one map, which was a round arena with almost nothing in it, and it was like 200 feet across, and all you did was fly around with your teammates and hand out beatdowns to all the bad people who came in from these doors. Well, *I* handed out beatdowns - my teammates got in the way and died a lot. Over 400 megs for a demo I installed, and beat, inside of 15 minutes. It should take longer to play than it does to download, people. Hell, Quake was only like 150 megs for the whole damned game - and Quake was one of the best games of all time. But back to my dumbass, no skills having, cannon fodder, blind, completely useless, poor excuse for a team. They suck. They are lameasses. It isn't their fault, tho. Game developers have developed themselves a really low standard for game A.I. games that advertise - no - feature this fantastic A.I. that completely surpasses everything else that has ever been ever - have A.I enemies that see you and run toward you, even if you're holding a DeathDealer X-4bajillion, with new and improved Kill-O-Matic action. These games also have - almost all of them have it now - a Team. Team A.I. is even worse than enemy A.I. With the enemies, there are lots of them. Millions. You generally have 3 or 4 teammates, and if they die, which they do a lot because they suck, you generally have to start the level over. And you usually end up having to protect them because they suck and can't fend off a fucking Guy with a Stick, who sits there and slowly beats them to death while they keep saying "I'm all alone out here!" or "Need a little help here, boss!" Meanwhile, you've been killing the mutant alien robo-dragons, which shoot lasers from all 60 eyes and breathe black holes. You know, if the game developers made the A.I. so it emphasized the 'I' part, and perhaps gave my teammates the ability to, oh I don't know - HIT THE BROAD SIDE OF A BARN FROM INSIDE THE FUCKING BARN WITH BARN-SEEKING MISSLES, maybe they'd be a bit more useful. Ok, better now.

Music Of The Moment: It's actually a really lame cover of Devo's "Whip It" by some crappy band who sucks and has only played at that one bar, but they're gonna make it someday, but I'm gonna change it now. Hey, now it's "Corporate Cloning" off Fear Factory's newest album, "Archetype" I like "Slave Labor" better. it includes the lyric "god help me pour this gas on me" which isn't really grammatically correct, but cool nonetheless. It's not like I'm ever grammatically correct. Or politically correct. Overweight people are fat, women are bitches, jews are lazy, and people over 65 are fucking old, fucker. Vote for me in november, kiddies. Speaking of kiddies - you see the tits on that 14-year-old? Shit, dawg. Vote for me.

Word Of The Moment: Archetype, Which is the original model of something. Like jesus was the model for hippies, and bands like the beatles and elvis were the archetype for the radio format known as "FM" - oh, wait, I meant "classic", but once you count everything up, the classic stations really take up enough of the dial that the rest can just be eliminated and called the 'margin of error'.