I've got the no-talent blues

Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Brooke Hogan are examples of a truism: fame can make up for talent. You don't need to be able to sing - protools can fix that. If you are famous and want to make an album - no problem, go make it, and sit back and collect the money from the platinum sales of your horrible crap, laughing at all the musicians with real talent who struggle for 10 years and can't get their demo listened to.
By the way - what the fuck is Paris Hilton famous for, exactly? I mean - she acts, sings, models, has a perfume line - but all of that came as a result of her fame. So what made her famous in the first place? What does she do? It's a death-knell for human civilization when somebody can be a real, honest-to-god celebrity just because they party a lot and have a rich dad.

word of the moment: Schlock. It's when something is utterly without value, like that Paris Hilton autographed cd you'll get 35 cents for 2 years from now on ebay.

Wear a condom to Hollywood.

Kevin Federline proves that fame is a sexually transmitted disease.

When Good Targetted Ads Go Bad!

I (currently as of this post) host my blog on aloof hosting (they "indifferently" host my site. I like that). Aloof hosting uses google text ads on pages. I like google text ads. They are orders of magnitude less annoying and intrusive than most other types of ad, and they are targetted, so they do occasionally display something at least partially relevant. But not here. A few posts back I dissed on volkswagen for their misnomer on wheels, the phaeton. I happen to like the fine folks at VW, and I think they make (and used to make) a lot of fine vehicles. They just need to fire whoever has been doing the naming. Since that post, google has decided that I run a phaeton fansite, or something. every time I view the page, I see text ads related to the damned phaeton. I was being mean to the phaeton. I don't like them. This is a bad bad page to advertise the phaeton. At least I haven't seen any ads for britney spears, who is a slutty bitch with no talent, and who I hope dies in some horrible fashion - like being being beheaded (very slowly) by a glacier. I'm actually fairly indifferent to the whole britney thing. I mean - she sucks and everything, and I'd probably hate her truly and deeply if I actually knew her, but other than that - she's just another set of tits singing songs she didn't write. She's paparazzi fodder.

Music Of The Moment: "sum of your achievements" by nailbomb. Nailbomb was a one-album side project of Max Cavalera from Sepultura, and later Soulfly. and, uh, The guy from Fudge Tunnel. What the hell kind of a band name is "fudge tunnel", anyway? That's just wrong.

Word Of The Moment: Annelid I was messing with an anagram generator, and discovered one of the many anagrams you can make from my full name is "asinine annelid", and I like that. You can also make "denials annie in". I don't know what to think of that one. sounds almost.... prude
You can also do, weirdly, "ideal insane inn". Cool. I'd sleep there.

By The Way, If you can guess my full real name from those anagrams, I'll give you a cookie.
My full real name is not Twilight Jones. Yes I really do have that many "I"s and "N"s in my name.

Just to clarify...

In This Post, which I posted on Aug. 4th, I mentioned britney spears' new album as being totally blah. This makes it look as though I've actually heard her new album - I have not. I've voiced my opinion about ms/mrs/ms spears in the past. I am not what you'd call a "fan" of her "music", nor do I think her to be attractive in any way other than the standard barbie doll one. People who aspire to look like barbie have no self image. I don't care what she does with her hair or what tattoo her manager advised she get in a place where it just barely peeks out - she's barbie spears.

Music Of The Moment: "Into The Darkness" by kittie. Kittie made me think there is hope for canada. Kittie is 4 canadian girls, who rock as hard as any other metal band - even the scandinavian ones. Kittie is the anti-britney.

Link Of The Moment: KHAAAAAAANNNN!!!!!!

Word Of The Moment: Natatorial which is a really fancy way to say 'swimming'. As in "Being thrown into the ocean 30 miles from land tends to inspire one to the natatorial pursuits." Not a word I use everyday.

I hear it's nice.

yeah, so it's been a while since I posted. It's not that I didn't have anything to say - it's that I didn't feel like posting.

I've begun a couple of new things. First up, Doom 3. Doom 3 will be my life, my all-consuming addiction - just as soon as I can get it to work. see, it crashes 10-15 seconds after loading. And by 'crashes' I mean 'hardlocks my goddamned computer.' I don't want to talk about it anymore. It makes me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Y'know, cuz I can be a prick.
The other new thing I'm doing, and only started doing this sunday: I'm playing dungeons and dragons. I'm a half-elf cleric of Kord, god of brawling, drinking, battle and athleticism. Mostly the drinkin' and fightin', tho. I've managed to get KO'd by a friggin' kobold with a wand that fires magic missle. yeah, I feel like a pussy. I'm supposed to be Mr. Big Bad Broadsword, and Mr. Rat Lizard With A Stick knocked me to negative hit points. Then later a goblin got a critical on me - for 4 points. I was so upset I had to chop his goblin ass in twain. I'm both the heavy fighter and the healer of our party. Probably not the best combination, considering I only picked up a bow in our last battle, which means I'll spend most of my time having sharp things land on me - and I'm the guy who's supposed to keep everybody alive.

Music Of The Moment: "One Perfect Sunrise" by Orbital. It's ok techno, but I prefer "Bachelorette" by Bjork, which was on before. I love Bjork. I want her to have my children. I want us to marry and move to Reykjavik. I'll convert for her. Bjork is a member of Asatru, which is one of the elder, predating pretty much everything religions. I could go for worshipping Thor and Odin.

Link Of The Moment: Asatru

Word Of The Moment: Blah but only because I'm amazed it's in there. I'll use it in a sentence: Britney Spears' new album is totally blah! Like, Drivel-icious!

PIRATIZE© Your Life!

Yeah, you know how a couple days ago I mentioned that I used illegal methods to obtain music for free, even though that music had not officially been put on sale yet?
I do that a lot. But I'm sorry. Truly. Except for metallica. Fuck those guys. I used to be a fan. I bought every album from the black album to the s&m thing they did with that orchestra. The black album was the first cd I ever owned. Now, I don't mean to hurt artists when I download music. I mostly use my downloads to see if i like the album, and I do buy a lot of cd's still. But metallica, on the other hand, won't be getting my money any time soon. They stopped being artists when they started trying to get their fans arrested for downloading their music. I'll never give them another cent. Oh, I'll still get their albums, mind you - I just won't pay any money for them. If I can't download the music, I'll fucking steal the cd. Fuck metallica.

current music: "130 steps" by Badmarsh & Shri, which is this cool sort-of electronica duo. I say sort-of because Shri is an instrumentalist, meaning he plays actual instruments, so the music ends up sounding very organic and natural, since it is for the most part. By the by, I really enjoy these people, and I never would have heard of them if I didn't see the "dancing drums" album in mp3 format on an ftp. So there.

IS THERE PORNOGRAPHY ON YOUR COMPUTER?


Yes. now leave me alone. I am really starting to despise these spams and popups telling me how every computer saves every picture from every website I visit. I can empty my own damn cache, and I can clear my own damned temp files. And besides, I know there is pornography on my computer, because I put it there. I explicitly searched out and saved hot sweaty teen anal asian britney spears lesbian alanis morrisette teen naked boob boobs breast sex teen lesbian buick sex teen files onto my computer, and I intend to keep them. On the same note, why do they only concentrate on porn? What if I was visiting sites detailing how to build a large explosive device with which I would assassinate my local authority figure? What if I was visiting sites about how to make the perfect souffle, and I didn't want my football playing roomate to see, lest he pound me into a pinkish paste? Eh. Eh, the official statement of the apathetic. That's me: A Shining Model of Apathy. I care a lot, I really really do.

Death Notice. Music was found dead on the 50 yard line of Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, Florida on Sunday. Time of death was around 8 pm, 7 central. Cause of death is believed to be a fatal mixing of genres, combined with an overdose of commercialization. Music had spent most of it's life in high spirits, but it started on a downward spiral when Fred Durst performed with Christina Aguilara during an awards show last year. Music was reported to have gone to it's home in Cleveland and freebased vanilla ice that night. the problems continued until tonight, where music met it's demise at Superbowl XXXV. During the opening ceremonies, the backstreet boys overpowered a healthy injection of Ray Charles by butchering the national anthem. Then, during the Mtv produced halftime show, Music suffered a fatal heart attack during the performance of Aerosmith, N*Sync, Britney Spears, Mary J Blige, and Nelly. Apparently, all the artists performing "Walk this Way", an old Aerosmith favorite, simultaneously, was enough to cause total pulmonary failure. Music is survived by Sculpture, Poetry, Painting, Theater, and Dance. Music will be mourned by all those who loved it. Memorial services will be held at the rock and roll hall of fame museum in Cleveland.

They say the heart of rock and roll is still beating, and from what I've seen, they couldn't be more wrong.

Music I enjoy: Heavy Metal, Old School Rap (mostly early "gangsta" rap), Neo-Metal type stuff (like korn, system of a down, orgy, stuff like that) Primus (because they don't really fit anywhere else), the occasional hardcore techno-esque song (Aphex Twin's "Come To Daddy" was genius). I have a dark past. I used to listen to pop rap. Yup. I who worship Nine Inch Nails and the Beastie Boys, once owned two tapes by marky mark and the funky bunch. I also had vanilla ice's first album, and I was way into the fat boys. I'm over that now (thank {your deity here}), but I have a new vice - Cover songs. I don't know what it is, but I really love it when a group takes a classic song and perverts it just the right way. Marilyn Manson's "Sweet Dreams" and "I put a spell on you", The Mighty Mighty Bosstones "Detroit Rock City" and "Enter Sandman" (and I don't even like the bosstones. at all), anything like that, I love it.
Music I DO NOT enjoy: teeny pop, country, whiny alternative garbage. pretty much anything written before 1980 (and most of what was written in the 80s), manufactured bands (like n*stync, backdoor boys, and the countless other new kids/menudo clones) britney spears (both personally and musically - I hope she gets attacked by killer bees and stumbles into traffic, where she would be run over by christina aguilera's tour bus, which would then careen off a cliff, exploding in a glorious fireball upon impact with the cold hard ground.) christina aguilera (she learned spanish so she could record a spanish language album because she wanted to be true to her roots. her roots are in new england) and I'm not too fond of the elevator music crap that people like enya keep oozing all over us. ok, feeling better now. I got some rare old anthrax off napster (gives finger to "The Man") so I'm great. Speaking of napster, it's nice to see the true artists coming out in favor of napster. most artists are pretty neutral on napster (the "who gives a shit?" attitude is cool), some are really pissed off about napster (not to name any names *COUGH*metallica*COUGH*), and are trying to get it banned. those artists are money hungry, and not interested in making music for the sake of making music. and then there are some artists (Like prince and rage against the machine and chuck d and offspring and limp bizkit) who actually like napster, and encourage it's use. rage against the machine's management actually banned some users, so RATM apologized by offering a bunch of cool music on their website (to make up for some of their fans being denied the music they wanted). uh, what was I talking about?.... To Hell with it, I'm finished. (gives another finger to "The Man" just for fun)

I am Tiger Woods. And I'm not even too sure who Tiger Woods is.
I am Tiger Woods© wearing Michael Jordan© cologne and Nike© sneakers in my Buick© listening to the Britney Spears© cd I got from McDonalds©. Did domebody say McDonalds©? uh, Yeah, I just did. Anyway, I got the cd for only 2.99 when I got a Big Mac© after I saw the commercial on NBC© that came on during the Olympics©, which took place in Australia©.
Oh yeah, Mir isn't gonna be scrapped after all. Turns out, somebody raised enough money to buy all that space-lysol, and they won't send Mir spiraling into the earth in february. The space-fungus was unavailable for comment. Somebody needs to make a movie about the heroic space-lysol. SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE LYYYYYYYYSOOOOOLLLLLLLLL IN THE 21ST CENTURY!!!!!!!!

I've noticed a few things during my time online:
1: You should not name your band after anything that might turn up sex sites on a search engine. Case in point - Orgy.
2: Some things just don't need web pages. Case in point.
3: Nobody cares how many awards your website won from your friend wheo runs an awards website, but everybody still proudly displays their awards.
4: Some people just don't care about older browsers. I have decided to be "Browser Hostile" in that I am ignoring 2.0 browsers, but at least remember that not everyone uses IE 5.5 or the latest NS6 beta.
5: searching for just about anything will turn up a few porn pages. searching for "sex", however, doesn't return as many as you'd think.


Has anybody else noticed that Britney Spears is an obsessive-compulsive? look at her song titles: "Hit me baby, one more time - Oops, I did it again - (I can't get no) satisfaction"..... She has a real repetition thing going on. Maybe she's just a slut.