George Lucas is a rat bastard.

Saturday, June 05, 2010

Something is eating at me. George Lucas (you know - the guy who made Star Wars, waited until it became a cultural icon, and then brutally assraped it 3 times) uses a specific argument when people criticize his films. People say that the Ewoks, and later Jar Jar Binks, are too goofy to be in the movies, and they bring the quality of the whole thing down. Jar Jar is comic relief like the guy with a funny hat and billy bob teeth is comic relief in a Mexican soap opera. He's just so out of place and his silliness is over the top. George Lucas says, basically, that anybody who criticizes Jar Jar is a pansy fanboy who needs to grow up and accept that the Star Wars movies are for kids, and that Jar Jar is an important character. OK, there's the problem. Star Wars is for kids. I'll say it again:

George Lucas says Star Wars is meant for kids, and not adults.


OK? Got it?
Star Wars contains (just off the top of my head) Death, dismemberment, strife, the potential for incest, children being killed, gruesome scenes of a bloody and charred person writhing in agony, people being eaten, and torture.
And it's for kids.
This tells me that either George Lucas is a horrible person making movies with all that shit in them and thinking the kiddies will love it, or he's criminally negligent. This is a serious thing. George Lucas is either insane or evil. One the one hand, maybe he's just a loon who made these movies full of death and pain, thinking they weren't so bad or that kiddies would shriek with glee when, for example, Luke gets his hand chopped off, or when Anakin is missing several limbs and his flesh is actually burning away and he's screaming and obviously in terrible pain. On the other hand, maybe he made these movies, knowing they were full of some decidedly not kid-friendly material, and wanted to scar their minds and leave them shaken and crying.
There is, of course, a third option.
He's full of shit.
What I personally think is that he made some movies, they were pretty good, then he tried to change them up some to reinvigorate his fame and nobody liked them, and then he made some more movies that were really just awful, and now to cover his ass he's saying this crappy thrown-together walking racial slur that is Jar Jar was just meant for younger minds. That way he doesn't have to explain why the character has no depth or complexity and why his humor is little more than pratfalls and hamfisted attempts at jokes. He's got a track record for doing this, you know. he figured people wouldn't buy that all the jedi just somehow feel when the force is strong in somebody, and they had to have some objective way of measuring how much of the force was with you, so he made up that midichlorian shit. When people called him out on his shitty cop-out, he said he's planned on doing that the whole time. I guess they just didn't have the technology to make a prop that went "beep" back when he made the first trilogy. He wanted C3P0 and R2D2 to be in the prequels. R2 was easy - he's just an astromech droid. He could have just been the droid in this ship and that ship and it's all coincidence. C3P0? How the hell do you get a robot whose primary function is translation into all 6 movies? Hey! let's have Darth Vader build him as a child! Yeah! There's no way anybody will question how this prepubescent slave managed to put together a whole droid! He just got the kit in a box of cereal or something! And maybe R2D2... forgot he had rockets?
Don't make crappy movies and then blame the fans for not liking them. And certainly don't make crappy movies full of violence and death and say they were meant for kids to cover the fact that they're crappy.