Damnation, I need to proofread these things before I post.
Hey, it was valentine's day a while back. like I care. Valentine's day is one of those pure commercial holidays that has long since lost all of it's original meaning. Christmas has almost lost it, but there are still people who celebrate it for the reason it was intended. much like Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is not a holiday where we give thanks to turkey farmers.
I wonder what the mexican guys from the line in the outlaw army scene in blazing saddles are doing now... "Adult diapers? We don't need no steeenking adult diapers!... well, yeah, probably we do."
Hey, why do beaches make otherwise unspeakable things OK to put on tv? Viagra commercials show a guy (Dole, usually) walking on a beach. Summer's eve: beach. Tampax: beach. If erectile disfunction/feminine hygeine are so icky, what makes you think somebody walking on a beach makes it less icky? the message is the same: "Here I am, walking on this beach and, thanks to Viagra, I can lay it to the old wife again."
"Thanks to tampax, I'm not attracting sharks up onto the sand and ruining my pants." Beaches and flowers. Walking thru a field of flowers is ok, too. and tennis. play lots of tennis and it's ok to talk about your malfunctioning peepee or your aunt flo.
This is the face of erectile disfunction: :-/

If men got pregnant there would be a lot more c-sections.
MC Hawking. Somebody has been using that text-to-speech thingie to make raps as Stephen Hawking.

Well, I've been on that there internet for a coon's age, and I've seen many things, some of which were quite entertaining, some of which would make a 60 year old tranvestite stripper cough up her 4th tequila and semen cocktail. Through all my journeying, however, I've found that there is one truth to the internet - one constant. One thing that we all need to see as the horrible problem it is, and that we must rise up to stop:

It's "YOUR", as in "Maybe a dingo ate your baby.", and "YOU'RE", as in "There's a party in my pants, and you're all invited."

I cannot stress this enough. We as a society need to find all instances of this travesty, and squash it. We must rise up as one and find all those who propagate this abuse of the english language. Did we not take english class? Are we to the point where we can no longer distinguish between "your" and "you are"? I've been to all corners of this, the world wide web. I've seen the dark offramps and gutters lining the information superhighway, and this one thing keeps attacking. It's worse than any virus, it's more infectious than the hampster dance (or hamster, if you want to be snooty and spell it right). So many times I've seen an otherwise hopeful webpage throw itself away by using phrases such as "Welcom to my webpage, your welcome to look around, but I created theses pages, so don't take whats not you'res". Now the lack of the apostrophe I can deal with, but the extra one? Why? What caused you to add the extra punctuation, when you had previously omitted it? The only answer is sheer, blinding, painful stupidity. I know I don't use proper punctuation, and my grammar leaves much to be desired - but it's my style of writing. I write this way because I can express myself more efficiently this way. Saying "your" where you should have said "you're" is just wrong. "you're" instead of "your" is worse. "your'e" or "yo'ure" is just wrong regardless.

And now, some offensive rap lyrics:
"Tell your girl to stop changing her lipstick - I'm starting to get rainbows around my dick."
"Face down, ass up - That's the way we likes to fuck."
"...and when I'm finished, there's gonna be a bloodbath of cops dying in L.A.. Yo dre, I got something to say: Fuck the police"