A Toast is in Order

HAPPY 85TH POST!!!!! This is the 85th time I've bothered you. I've had 85 posts to this weblog. Well, 84, and this one celebrating. I guess this qualifies as a post, but it doesn't seem right, being a post strictly about how many posts I've made. Hell, I've had posts consisting of some random link... I even had one that said simply: "What am I gonna do with all these ostriches????" So yeah, happy 85th post. Here's to another 72!!!

Damn Monkey

So I figured I'd post a quick update about my creature in Black and White, just for the hell of it.
My ape was a kind, if fairly maladjusted creature. I had taught him to cast the shower miracle on fields, and I taught him how to put trees into the village store. when he came across a cow, he threw it, since I used some cows to teach him how to throw. So he ate sheep and threw cows. And then he developed this compulsion to water fields. This is all he would do. My damned ape would walk around watering the hell out of farmland until he passed out. He also turned the wood gathering ability into a potentially nasty habit - he kicks trees. So now my ape will decide to kick random trees in random directions. He does this because I was neglecting him. I spent probably half an hour chucking fireballs at a nearby village that was out of my circle of influence, and my poor little ape became a little bastard. Did I mention that he has an affinity for making breeders? I led him to a village to try and win it over to my side, so he starts watering farmland like a good little monkey, so I went off to tend to other godly things. I come back to see my ape creating breeders as fast as he could pick up villagers. Oh yeah, now he eats people. I have Black and White installed on a friend's computer, since my GhettoPC won't run it. This friend played for a while on my profile instead of creating another. When I get back to the game - I'm partially evil, and my ape has developed a taste for villager. So now I have a creature who: Eats sheep but throws cows, Poos on trees, but is just as likely to kick a tree instead, Has a compulsive need to create breeders and water farms, and eats humans...

tH1S p0St HaS b33n HaX0r3d!!!! W00T!!!

The International Consortium of Web Bosses has determined, after much deliberation, that Hackers do indeed 0wN j00. Much has been done to stop this threat, but it appears that the hackers are just too l33t.
The Hacker Coalition of Earth (Fargo Office) replied with the statement "r0X0R!!! W33 0wN j00!!!" The complete illegibility of this response was attributed to the fact that the average member age in the HCE is 13. I can't sympathize with these idiots who hack for fun, but I think I know why they do it. They hack for the same reason I used to set fires to pools of gasoline and staple junebugs to the wall; they can. had I been exposed to computers earlier, I might have become a hacker. Although, since I have subversive and destructuve tendancies, I would have most likely been a Cracker (ATTN MEDIA: CRACKERS ARE BAD, HACKERS NOT SO MUCH.) I spend my time online looking at disturbing webpages and downloading massive amounts of pirated software and violating copyrights with wild abandon (ATTN "THE MAN": EAT ME.) These hackers' lives are consumed by the one activity - hacking. They spend all day organizing denial of service attacks and looking around for credit card numbers. (well, that would make them crackers, but let's not mince words). Most of these hackers are what is known as a "script kiddie", which is the cyber equivalent of a wannabe. They will spend all day using programs written by other people - programs they do not understand and can barely use - to do their evil deeds for them. Had they been without computers, they would have been with the big group of white kids wearing red and calling themselves "Bloods", while actually being terrifed that a *real* gang would become irritated with them and kill them all. Both groups work off the same principle: there is strength in numbers. If you're in a gang, you're a lot less likely to be beaten up, since you have a dozen or so of your closest g's with you. In hacking, much of what they do involves multiple computers, or multiple hackers coordinating one event. Maybe if we gave these kids something else fun and antisocial to do, they'd cut out all this foolishness. I say pellet guns. Pellet guns kept me out of (serious) trouble, because I would spend most of my time taking pot shots at animals and milk jugs. Pellet guns for all, and all our problems will be solved - and quickly replaced with all new pellet gun-related problems.