tH1S p0St HaS b33n HaX0r3d!!!! W00T!!!

The International Consortium of Web Bosses has determined, after much deliberation, that Hackers do indeed 0wN j00. Much has been done to stop this threat, but it appears that the hackers are just too l33t.
The Hacker Coalition of Earth (Fargo Office) replied with the statement "r0X0R!!! W33 0wN j00!!!" The complete illegibility of this response was attributed to the fact that the average member age in the HCE is 13. I can't sympathize with these idiots who hack for fun, but I think I know why they do it. They hack for the same reason I used to set fires to pools of gasoline and staple junebugs to the wall; they can. had I been exposed to computers earlier, I might have become a hacker. Although, since I have subversive and destructuve tendancies, I would have most likely been a Cracker (ATTN MEDIA: CRACKERS ARE BAD, HACKERS NOT SO MUCH.) I spend my time online looking at disturbing webpages and downloading massive amounts of pirated software and violating copyrights with wild abandon (ATTN "THE MAN": EAT ME.) These hackers' lives are consumed by the one activity - hacking. They spend all day organizing denial of service attacks and looking around for credit card numbers. (well, that would make them crackers, but let's not mince words). Most of these hackers are what is known as a "script kiddie", which is the cyber equivalent of a wannabe. They will spend all day using programs written by other people - programs they do not understand and can barely use - to do their evil deeds for them. Had they been without computers, they would have been with the big group of white kids wearing red and calling themselves "Bloods", while actually being terrifed that a *real* gang would become irritated with them and kill them all. Both groups work off the same principle: there is strength in numbers. If you're in a gang, you're a lot less likely to be beaten up, since you have a dozen or so of your closest g's with you. In hacking, much of what they do involves multiple computers, or multiple hackers coordinating one event. Maybe if we gave these kids something else fun and antisocial to do, they'd cut out all this foolishness. I say pellet guns. Pellet guns kept me out of (serious) trouble, because I would spend most of my time taking pot shots at animals and milk jugs. Pellet guns for all, and all our problems will be solved - and quickly replaced with all new pellet gun-related problems.