So we went to the big city for an Ob/Gyn thing for the twins, got an ultrasound, and found out everybody was healthy and great. I have another blog for that. On there, I wax poetic and gleefully report the minutiae of every trip to the doctor. I also keep it at least PG-rated, since like, normal people read it.
This is not that blog.
So we had a good time, went to drive home, and I wanted to stop somewhere and buy coffee. We stopped at a gas station in a sort of seedy area. I went in, crawled thru the store getting a cup of coffee, and a coke for Rebecca. While waiting in line I saw, in the case where they keep the trucker's speed, some "glass roses". I thought "hey, neat! a tiny rose in glass!" I have a thing about buying Rebecca roses in every variation that exists. If I see a rose made from a twisted-up coke can or something, I'll buy it. So I bought it. I get out to the car and shuck the box so I can present her with it. I pull it out and my thought process goes like this: "that's kinda pretty. Hey - why is there a hole up here by the head of the rose? Why is this hole in... this crack pipe?" This is when I suddenly realized that
I accidentally bought my pregnant wife a crack pipe.
It was a rose, alright - a little cheap one so they could sell crack pipes in gas stations. You're supposed to throw the rose away and place drugs in where the head of the flower was. I thought I was doing something nice. I thought I would surprise her with a little gift. Instead
I accidentally bought my pregnant wife a crack pipe.
I don't know how to describe the feeling I got. I really don't. I wonder if hallmark has a card for that? "To my understanding wife: I'm sorry I accidentally bought you a crack pipe. Had I known it was drug paraphernalia, You have to know I would have gone for the pencil holder instead." Other than that, and the baby stuff, it was a pretty uneventful trip. We went to the city, got an ultrasound, talked to the doctor, got soft pretzels, didn't see a *$, and oh yeah
I accidentally bought my pregnant wife a crack pipe.
Sorry, baby.
A rose by any other name would smoke as sweet.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Spewed forth by Twilight Jones at 10/25/2007 06:47:00 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
It's always great when you buy something that shouldn't be. Kind of like trying to buy super glue and getting asked for ID. Crazy ass dope heads.
I remember one time I was trying to buy some crystal meth and this guy wanted to see my ID. i was all like WTF dude?!
Seriously, I returned the "flower" and got my cash back. The dude tried to get me to trade for cigarettes. I was all like "dude, I don't even smoke THOSE."
I imagine If I was a big city fellow I would have been used to that kind of thing. It's just that
I ACCIDENTALLY BOUGHT A CRACK PIPE FOR MY PREGNANT WIFE and that kinda gets to a small town guy.
only you man :) i bet rebecca was very understanding about it.. you were tryin to something very sweet for her..not your fault that crackheads have to get their shit cheap
That was funny. The hole family misses you.
Post a Comment