Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Giant Killer Robot Monkey.

This is a test. Had this been a real emergency, people would have been running around screaming for a good 3 minutes by now, and you would be wondering "why the hell are all these people running around screaming?", but that is not the case, as this is indeed a test. Should this test coincide with an actual emergency, you should look outside and note any screaming running people, and take appropriate action. Now, we may just be messing with your head here - this may be a real honest-to-goodness emergency, and we might be just stalling you so we can loot the stores while they still have some good stuff left, but we probably aren't, since we have good jobs pretending to have emergencies every couple of weeks. It isn't really a glamourous job, it isn't even a high paying one, but - well, we were coming to a point, but now we are depressed and don't feel like talking about it anymore.