I'm so angst-y

So I was thinking of becoming a Goth Loser.
I'd change my name to foxglove, strife, or odium- or maybe something *really* gothy, like... crimson skye wolfesbane nihilist.
I'd have to buy a lot more black velvet, black lace, and black vinyl.
Of course, one can't be a real goth without having an unnatural fixation on bands from england that suck.
You also need to write shitty poetry equating death with the wilting of flowers or something equally drab and overdone, like talking about how black your soul is or using a euphemism like "lightless abyss" to talk about your life, or your hair.
Also, I'm going to have to dye my hair black. black as night, black as coal. You can't be gothy without black hair. Ok, maybe pink.
I'm going to have a hard time trying to be pathetic all the time. This seems to be a main goal among the goth population, looking depressed all the time, like somebody just ate your puppy- all the while looking like you really just despise everybody you see.
Oh, and never ever ever ever call youself a goth. Except for all the time. I'm going to have to master that particular art, the constantly referencing my lifestyle- coupled with constantly denying that I constantly reference my lifestyle. It's like gay people who wear feather boas all the time, speak with a lisp, say FABULOUS! a lot, and can't seem to shut up about all the gay sex they have all the time because they're gay and they really wanted everybody in the immediate vicinity to know that they were indeed gay in case there was any doubt- who then complain about people persecuting them because of their lifestyle. Hey, I'm straight, and I don't constantly talk about hittin' the poon. There is a place called restraint. I suggest you visit it once in a while. They have good cheese fries.

music of the moment: "one nation" by soulfly. they aren't from england. they are from brazil. well, max is- I don't know about the rest of them. But they rock hard, and this song is about racism not being cool. Ok, after that is "hot hot hot" by ll cool j, who is from queens, new york. This song is about... constantly hittin' the poon.

link of the moment: goth, the definition of which uses the word lugubrious, which sounds dirty, but isn't.

As a side note: Turn safe search ON before searching for the word "gay" in google's image search. Just a pointer.