Wear a condom to Hollywood.

Kevin Federline proves that fame is a sexually transmitted disease.

extra-fancy

So somebody told me to update This Old Blog (hosted by Bob Vila's brother, Wheela). He said something to the effect of "perhaps you should think about updating that blog of yours, as it seems to be gathering a bit of dust." Actually, he said "Update your blog, fucker." but I got the general meaning.
Anyway.
I decided that yeah, I have been more than sporadic as of late, and I was kinda getting tired of the design anyway, so I used my L33T HTML skillz and clicked the button for this new template I'm using. I've resolved myself to be more on-point with the updating, so stay tuned. Also note that I've been on here since september of 2000 and I've got like 200 posts to look at, so go there, too.

link of the moment: Just for old times' sake, the llama song.
word of the moment: engaged and let's just leave it at that, shall we? You could say I was... engaged in a relationship with someone and that we were... engaged to be married at some poi- crap, I gave it away, didn't I?

Just a note:

Dairy products + Neck = Bad

Willy and Me

I got me one of those everlasting gobstoppers, and I have to say, I am sorely disappointed. For one, it lasted maybe 10-15 minutes - hardly "everlasting". 10-15 minutes is only forever is you're 5 years old. And another thing - it didn't stop my gob. At no point did I feel any appreciable decrease in gob activity during or after the consumption of this so called gobstopper. Now, I have used the GobArrest line of products before, and the GobArrest60 fully stops my gob for almost 3 full months. Now I realize GobArrest is by prescription only (I know a guy who knows a guy), but surely the wonka people could come up with an OTC strength gob cessation aid. I thought at first this had to be false advertising, but perhaps they meant that rather than the candy lasting forever, that it stopped gobs forever? Well, no, since it doesn't even slow gobs down. So what is it, then? I thought maybe they were using metaphor, like the northern Minnesota phrase "you sure stopped my gob!" but then I thought - wonka is a subsidiary of nestle, which is based in Switzerland, and since most of northern Minnesota is of Norwegian decent, and since "gob" means something totally different in Swiss and Norwegian... It's just false advertising. It's that damn willy's fault anyway. I was on a tour of his factory once, and got my head stuck in the door of the great glass elevator (yeah, I was that kid), and they had to shut down the tours because the thing was found to be a hazard. See, those oompa-loompas are great singers, and they can make a mean chocolate bar, but they can't turn a wrench for crap. Willy contracted out all the work for the factory and got the oompas to take care of things, but he never realized that the entire race is mechanically inept. Anyway, my point is that they should put a warning label on those things, because now I've got this hyperactive gob, and a powerful sweet tooth, and if I had known - I would bought more than just the one.

Just for the record.

I'd just like to let any person or persons who are old friends of yours truly that my current email address is conveniently located over there in the "view complete profile" link. See, I can only communicate on a certain level within the confines of this page, and I don't currently know the whereabouts, electronic or physical, of said person or persons.

word of the moment: obfuscate, which is a term defining the way in which one might or might not go about getting around a point wherein that aforementioned person might or might not wish the full scope of aforementioned point to get across to a second party, vis-a-vis the current arrangement, insomuch as second skype nadir belarus cuomo, fanbase excelsior perambulating cromulent.

Wisdom.

Confucius say: when everything feel sticky - wash hands.

fast music!

so, yeah, it's been a while.
whatever.
I want you all to go to crap art and listen to the An Album A Day project.
Basically, you write, perform, record and produce an album inside of 24 hours. It really opens up the creative abilities. It also shows the lazy people who just record 20 minutes of noise or screaming. If I were you, I'd track down the albums made by Tom 7, who is the crap art guy. He makes what I consider to be the best albums on the site, and he's made 19 of them as of this post, so there's a lot to listen to. Yeah, so go listen to that stuff. I'll catch you later.