I'm buying a bicycle.

The dagnabbed gol-durned price of gas has me all red in the face, like when I stuck my head in the fry-daddy. Now, way back in the way back, gas was like a dollar a gallon where I live. A buck sounds just about right. It works. Then out of nowhere, the price of gas had a spasm and suddenly it cost like a buck seventy to buy a damned gallon of gas. When I was just a young pyromaniac, before I had any bodily hair to accidentally burn off, a dollar would buy me a whole afternoon of fun, flames, and fumes. If gas did that knee-jerk price thing when I was a kid, I would have been so bummed out, I probably would have been forced to go to the pool or something else totally unfun. I have a friend with an econobox - one of those cars the size of a midget's athletic supporter. It gets like 700 miles to the gallon, which is good because it has a 10 gallon tank. I prefer the land yachts - cars that need 11 gallons to prime the carb. Anyway, this friend had to spend damn near twenty bucks to fill up his tank. This car is the size of a hamster skull, and it costs 20 bucks to fill it up. If I had a car (I'm usually a jobless bum), I'd probably have something that was 30 feet long and weighed 18 tons, and had a beeper thing for when I backed it up - not that I would ever back it up, because the back window is so far away that I can't see anyting thru it. I like these cars. These cars have time zones - they affect the tides. But if I had one of these cars, I'd be paying upwards of the total net worth of Oregon to fill up the gas tank. Now, the gas price hike isn;t really what pissed me off. What pissed me off is the fact that gas prices dropped, and then they leveled off around 1.20. Gas got up to like 2.50 in some places, and now it's down to like 1.20-1.50, and we are supposed to be thankful for gas prices being so low. I have news for you: Gas prices are still high. Remember before, when gas was a dollar? Now it is "back down" and it's still at least 1.20. Somebody is laughing their asses off over this, and it ain't the general populous. The general populous is scared shitless at the gas prices. Travelling salesman were paying so much for gas that they drew no profit. The United States Fucking Postal Service was going to drop Saturday deliveries because of gas prices. And young pyromaniacs everywhere have to shell out more money for their activities. Money they could be using for more productive things, like matches.