Quick question:
would you rather be addicted to heroin or crack? I mean, if you aren't already addicted to one of them (since that would bias you), and if you for some reason absolutely had to be addicted to one of them, which one would it be? I think I'd go for crack. Why crack? Well, for one thing, you get the neato pipe instead of that boring old syringe and rubber tubing - and crack is easy to transport. You can even send Virtual Crack to yourself thru email. Well, you're supposed to send it to other people, but why do that when you can be your own pusher?

Hey, did you ever wake up in the middle of the night, screaming "OH MY GOD! IS ABE VIGODA STILL ALIVE???!?!?!?!"? well, if you do, you seriously need some medicinal assistance, and maybe a long vacation to the nutbar inn - HOWEVER, while you wait on those nice young men in their clean white coats, you can go HERE to check up on ol' Abe.

Hey, just what I've always wanted! Coffins! I think if I was going to spend 500 bucks on a coffee table, I'd get one of those coffins and put some flowers on it, then like go find a dead cat or something to put in it, and then I could scare everybody off when I wanted to open it. I think I'd have to throw some fresh earth around it to make it more convincing.

Ok, I like loud music as much as the next headbanging metal fiend, but at some point it just becomes silly. beyond the obvious hilarity of this thing, you have to think for a second "wait, there are several thousand dollars woth of speakers back there - and they all point towards each other when the doors are shut." I'm sure that sounds wonderful once you get all those big speakers in ther together with no place for the sound to go. It must sound just like wrapping your headphones in a towel and throwing them into a pool.... You should also check out this travesty and keep saying to yourself "they did this on purpose, and they aren't in a circus or a parade or anything..." Like a minivan needed any help being ugly.