Sorry

I run at 1600X1200, and I only now looked at this thing in 800X600, and... I'm real sorry. I hope that, with time, everyone who views the web at 800X600 will go blind, and I can stop worrying about how ginormous this page looks at lower resolutions.

I'm sorry.

Happy Whatever

I turn 28 today. Can't you just feel how ecstatic I am about it? I mean people always get up about their birthdays, but I am just up. 28 is a magic number, and I'm finally magic. Attention Houston: We are shiny. You cannot imagine how alive I feel. Finally one step closer, one year closer to the grave - the sweet cool earth I so eagerly await to be enveloped by. Depressed? No, no no no. Not me. Not after I got that zoloft. I feel great. Boy, do I ever crave the comforting embrace of death's sweet kiss. That'll be so great. I mean really, great.
The Panama canal also has a birthday today. It's a little older than me, I think. That's still just great, tho. I mean really, great.

Adult Links Ahead!

In searching for pictures that look like modern sedans for the last post, I stumbled across This Site, which has some very cool tasteful nude 'figure study' type photos. Don't worry about it being in some northern european language - you can click around and look without knowing what the links are to. The people in these pictures are nude, though, so consider yourself warned. I don't wanna get all litigated because some snotnose little 6 year old came across my blog and clicked a link that didn't clearly state it was to an adult site, and so I was clearly endangering children with my gross negligence. That being said, I was glad that for a site containing lots of nude figure studies, it was almost completely devoid of sausage shots.

Attention Volkswagen:

This is a phaeton.
This This This and This are also phaetons.

This is car named "Phaeton"
These are not phaetons.
Neither is This This This or This

I'm sorry that you misunderstood the meaning of the word 'phaeton'. That car you produce... you can call it a phaeton - you can call it a Highboy for all I care. I would just like to point out that the car you call a phaeton is not, in fact, a phaeton. It's a sedan. Much like This is not a Karman Ghia and This is not a New Beetle.

While we're on the subject, What the fuck is Touareg supposed to mean?

Hands off the unit, sporto.

Koro
Yeah, I don't really know what to say about that. Except that maybe you should wear a cup.

Big pipes, man.

This is the website of the largest pipe organ in the world. I'd sell family members into slavery to hear Toccata and Fugue live on this thing.

Music Of The Moment: "Toccata" by J.S. Bach, as played on the largest pipe organ in the world. You just can't get the experience from an mp3, I'm afraid.

What I rode home to this morning.

If I was god - I would have signed it.

I still ride a bike.

Jesus. That's a story about how, in california, they've managed to outlaw giant SUV's on most residential roads, but they don't enforce it. See, if your vehicle weighs over 6000 pounds, it can qualify you for a 100% tax break on it if you pretend you only use it for business. It also qualifies you for the "cockless suburbanite fucktard" badge. And you can't legally drive on most roads in California, because the maximum weight on most of the roads in 6000 pounds. You buy this vehicle that uses 75 gallons of gas per mile, spewing much of it back into the atmosphere, yet you don't worry because not only are you immune to gas guzzler and emissions laws because you aren't driving a passenger vehicle - you're immune to the other laws that affect large real commercial vehicles, too. Plus you're an asshole. Do me a favor - look outside at your car:

• Is it larger than some houses?


• Does it cost more to start than some vehicles do to drive to mexico?

Well then, you have one of the giant SUV's. Now answer some more questions for me, if you would:

• Is it dirty?


• Has it ever been dirty - really dirty?

If you answered no, then you have no use for this vehicle, and should go dig the gun I know you have out of your closet, place the barrel gently in your mouth, and pull the trigger until your finger stops working. I'm serious. If I inspire mass suicide by the cockless suburbanite fucktard assholes who own and lumber these things around our nations streets and byways, I'll be happy to do any required jailtime.
Oh, and if you paid more than 100,000 bucks for your giant SUV - kill yourself regardless of the dirt level on it. You have no reason to live, and the world will be a better place for having lost you. It's worth it - do it.

Before a bunch of normal cockless people get all upset - if your hummer is encrusted with mud, or if your particular giant suv cost more than 100,000 bucks mostly because your tires cost 6000 bucks a piece - you're fine. You still have no penis, but your life isn't forfeit. At least your life isn't forfeit because of your vehicle ownership - I don't know you that well.

I'm such a fuckin' choirboy.

So I just counted, and apparently - I've only used the word "fuck" in 46 out of 196 posts. Well, 47 now. This is just unacceptable. I use fuck way more than that in real life. I mean - I just can't stop saying it. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck. Fucker.

Link Of The Moment: Asterisky

Word Of The Moment: You guessed it. The dictionary.com page for 'fuck' is surprisingly informative, actually.

Just to clarify...

In This Post, which I posted on Aug. 4th, I mentioned britney spears' new album as being totally blah. This makes it look as though I've actually heard her new album - I have not. I've voiced my opinion about ms/mrs/ms spears in the past. I am not what you'd call a "fan" of her "music", nor do I think her to be attractive in any way other than the standard barbie doll one. People who aspire to look like barbie have no self image. I don't care what she does with her hair or what tattoo her manager advised she get in a place where it just barely peeks out - she's barbie spears.

Music Of The Moment: "Into The Darkness" by kittie. Kittie made me think there is hope for canada. Kittie is 4 canadian girls, who rock as hard as any other metal band - even the scandinavian ones. Kittie is the anti-britney.

Link Of The Moment: KHAAAAAAANNNN!!!!!!

Word Of The Moment: Natatorial which is a really fancy way to say 'swimming'. As in "Being thrown into the ocean 30 miles from land tends to inspire one to the natatorial pursuits." Not a word I use everyday.

Yes, yes it is nice.

So I got Doom 3 to work - and all I gotta say is Wow. It's just this regular, everyday, normal, jaw-droppingly beautiful jaunt thru a futuristic military/research base, and then things go wrong, and then the guy turns into a friggin' zombie right in front of you! I only killed like 3 or 4 things, but I was truly afraid of them. I mean - the guy turns into a friggin' zombie right in front of you! This flaming skull thing goes thru him, and he starts moaning, and attacks you - right as the lights have gone out. Then you kill this other guy who comes in thru the door, and it's totally dark, and you have a flashlight, but you can't use it and shoot at zombies at the same time. I'm in love. And I haven't even seen an imp or anything yet.

No links or words this time - I'm busy.

Right in front of you! A friggin' zombie!

I hear it's nice.

yeah, so it's been a while since I posted. It's not that I didn't have anything to say - it's that I didn't feel like posting.

I've begun a couple of new things. First up, Doom 3. Doom 3 will be my life, my all-consuming addiction - just as soon as I can get it to work. see, it crashes 10-15 seconds after loading. And by 'crashes' I mean 'hardlocks my goddamned computer.' I don't want to talk about it anymore. It makes me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Y'know, cuz I can be a prick.
The other new thing I'm doing, and only started doing this sunday: I'm playing dungeons and dragons. I'm a half-elf cleric of Kord, god of brawling, drinking, battle and athleticism. Mostly the drinkin' and fightin', tho. I've managed to get KO'd by a friggin' kobold with a wand that fires magic missle. yeah, I feel like a pussy. I'm supposed to be Mr. Big Bad Broadsword, and Mr. Rat Lizard With A Stick knocked me to negative hit points. Then later a goblin got a critical on me - for 4 points. I was so upset I had to chop his goblin ass in twain. I'm both the heavy fighter and the healer of our party. Probably not the best combination, considering I only picked up a bow in our last battle, which means I'll spend most of my time having sharp things land on me - and I'm the guy who's supposed to keep everybody alive.

Music Of The Moment: "One Perfect Sunrise" by Orbital. It's ok techno, but I prefer "Bachelorette" by Bjork, which was on before. I love Bjork. I want her to have my children. I want us to marry and move to Reykjavik. I'll convert for her. Bjork is a member of Asatru, which is one of the elder, predating pretty much everything religions. I could go for worshipping Thor and Odin.

Link Of The Moment: Asatru

Word Of The Moment: Blah but only because I'm amazed it's in there. I'll use it in a sentence: Britney Spears' new album is totally blah! Like, Drivel-icious!