I invented my gods (complete randomness)

Pardon me boy, is that the chatanooga choo-choo? I ask, not because I actually think the frozen food aisle here in the grocery store is a train station, or that I think you, the stock boy, are the engineer or something - but I think it's a good way to start conversation. I mean, I ask you if that display of cap'n crunch is a train, you go "eh?" and then I can go off on a tangent, about how I read on this website about a bunch of people who want to get the cap'n promoted to admiral for some reason. I mean, I wouldn't promote him. I personally know the cap'n, and his place is on his big cartoon boat, not commanding some fleet of cereal-based warships, bound for milkitania, to overthrow the despot ruling it and to free the people, not, as some people think, to let the cartoon cereal mascots have easy access to that country's great stores of milk. I know we already conquered spoonland, and now spoons are cheap and plentiful here, and the new country, The United States Spoonland Federated Territories, is the geographical equivalent of a steaming pile of alpaca manure, only with less nutrients - but at least they are free from the terrible state-enforced free healthcare, education, and utilities. You know, while we're talking about cereal, don't you miss boo-berry crunch? I mean, it was the most godawful tasting bile of a cereal, but it turned your milk *blue*. Anything that makes milk blue without also making it poison is a gift from the gods. Also, I think stuff that makes milk blue *and* poison is a gift from the gods, but I probably worship the wrong gods. I invented my gods. I'm the only person who worships my gods, who mostly deal in turning things different colors. I think my religious system stems from the spiritual experience I had at the crayola factory. See, when I was young, My school went on a tour of the crayola crayon factory, and I got to see all the neat crayons and stuff, but then - They gave me a box of crayons! For free, without me doing anything spectacular or noteworthy. I mean, this guy just walked up and gave me a whole box of my very own crayons. I was so happy I went home and drew gods on the walls of my room with the crayons. Each color was a different god. I have 8. The blue god changes things into blue, but sometimes he also makes them poison. I think he's the bad one. Him and white. That white god hardly does anything, unless I leave like, pudding or something in my fridge for a couple months, then it turns white. But when the white god turns stuff white, it almost always smells real bad and tastes kinda funny. I can't usually remember what it tastes like, but I know the people in the hospital also wear white, which I think the white crayon god makes them do to freak me out. Oh, hey, so if you're the stock boy, and I wanted, say, shark fin, could you go out and catch a shark and defin it for me? Because I want my shark fin to be really really fresh. I make fermented shark fin soup from it. Hey, where are you going?