llama llama duck

llama song

You should probably go borrow somebody else's brain before you see this, because this'll fuck it all up, and you really don't want to get your own brain bent out of shape.

I'm a wanderer.

You know, I've been reading thru some of my posts, and realized some of them may be a little hard to read. Not because they use fancy words or anything, but because of the way they are structured. You gotta realize that these things are almost all posted off the top of my head. I'll get an idea and go "hey, I need to post that" and go post, without any idea of what the content will be. As a result of the way my thoughts stream, and the way my brain works, some of these posts kinda wander around, and lots of them get confusing as I weave in and out of the subject. This is why I can end up talking about those ballpits in the chuck e cheese for 4 paragraphs, in the middle of a paragraph about wookiee hairstyles.

I'm a B-boy, standing in my B-boy stance, hurry up and gimme the microphone before I bust in my pants.

More than you ever wanted to know.

coffeeresearch.org

Ever wanted to know how to properly roast your coffee beans?
They've got that.

Ever wanted to know how to identify the various colors of roasts by sight?
They've got that, too.

Ever wanted to map your taste buds so you can properly evaluate the aroma and flavor profile of your coffee?
Sure.

Ever wanted to know the complete lineage and history of coffee, complete with maps of growing regions?
Yup.

Ever wanted to know how to make the absolute perfect cup of coffee, from the perfect green coffee beans to the perfect roast to the perfect grind to the perfect brew in the perfect coffeemaker?
You bet.

Ever wanted to know how to decaffeinate coffee?
HERETIC! INFIDEL! BURN THE IMPURE!
But yes, they also have that.

I have 3 erections.

So I'm playing Prince of Persia: Warrior Within, Lord Of The Rings: Battle For Middle Earth, and Half-Life 2. That's right- there's the spot... right there, baby.... oh yeah...
Ahem.
All three of those gamegasms are stunning. I've played the first few levels of the newest Prince of Persia game, and it just blows the original (which was a work of art with bad AI) away. Now you don't have to just run up a guy's chest and do a 2-hit combo on the way down. Now you can do like 18 different things after running up his chest. You can drop and behead him, you can drop and throw him, you can do a divebomb attack on him, you can flip out and away from the battle- you can run up his chest, flip out and away to the wall, then divebomb somebody else from the fucking wall! And you're being chased by the Dahaka, an unstoppable beast spawned from the swirling vortex of time itself, spawned specifically to hunt you down and kill you. When it chases you, you fear it. these tentacles lash out at you, and as it gets closer, the world starts going all sandy-grey, and if it gets close enough, it kinda sucks your essence dry and kills you dead.
Lord Of The Rings: The Battle For Middle Earth has a very long title. And it's a good game to boot. I about popped a woody when I watched the intro, which is basically the intro of the first LOTR movie- done in the game engine. This game is one of those role-playing RTS games, like warcraft 3, only with cooler orcs. And speaking of orcs, my horde of them overran those pussy Rohirrim in no time, with a bit of help from a couple mountain trolls and a certain fallen human king on a certain fellbeast.

And then there's Half-Life 2.
You know, I just don't know if they've made any words yet to describe how great HL2 is. I'll try: It's Fangoddamntacularstic. It's better than that. It's headcrabs and striders and that glorious gravity gun. I will never get tired of chucking filing cabinets at soldiers at a couple hundred mph. and that bugbait is the shiznit. I also like grabbing manhacks with the gravity gun, then flinging them at the soldier that just fucking launched them at me. And you go for like a half hour in that game before you even pick up a crowbar. Half an hour of intro, of walking around, of seeing the world without it shooting at you. It's Fangoddamntacularstic.
And GTA: San Andreas isn't even out for PC yet. Damn you sony, damn you to hell.

Music Of The Moment: Winamp is cruel. It's "neutron dance" by the pointer sisters, but only because the song before that, which I skipped past, was "pump up the jam" by technotronic. While your feet are stumpin, and the crowd is jumpin.

Link Of The Moment:World Against Toys Causing Harm. I always liked tossing my 12-pound steel Tonka truck off the second story landing of the stairs, at family members standing at the foot of the stairs.

R.I.P.

"Dimebag" Darrell Abbott was shot dead December 8th, 2004, at an Ohio club. Dimebag was the guitarist for Pantera, and then damageplan.
I'm... out of words.
Mtv.com story

current music: Pantera, and I expect it to stay that way for a while.

Oh yeah

Man, that last post was long.
And I forgot something.
My current host, Aloofhosting.com, is closing down. On principle. Basically, they swore to never use popup ads, and the site is to the point where the only way they can even break even is to use popup ads, and they're tired of spending 500 bucks a month to run it. That makes me a sad panda. But it has spurred me in the hocks, so to speak. I'm finally going to up and buy myself a goddamned host. I'm gonna pay some people 30 bucks a year to keep all my shit- not just this lousy blog, but everything: photos, art, uh- this lousy blog. And anything I can think of, really- Anything. So watch this space for my move to better waters, and the name of those waters. And water, also.

Again with the AI.

Goddamn stupidass no-sense-of-self-preservation having useless no-aim-having pissant totally-critical-to-forward-plot-movement lame fucking AI NPC's! FUCK 'EM ALL!
angry now. post now.
Ok, so I'm playing prince of persia: sands of time (motto: we didn't think there were enough games with colons in the title.), and I actually really like it. it looks good, has a good soundtrack, the play is fairly fluid- minus a little hassle from the camera, the battles are top drawer, the puzzles are clever and difficult- but not so difficult that you are constantly pulling your hair out and stomping around the room like a jackass. The part that made me stomp around the room like a jackass was Farah. Farah (yeah, like the slacks) is your teammate/love interest/smart-mouthed counterpart. She has 3 main talents: mouthing off, wriggling thru cracks obviously put there for her which let her get to a switch that you couldn't otherwise get to, and getting dead. The getting dead part is the part I'd rather she not be so good at. If she put some of that effort into learning an instrument, she'd be fucking Chopin. So in any case, here's the basic scenario: you get into a puzzle or something, and she finds a crack and vanishes, because she'd never make it thru this puzzle. You do your swinging around and wall-jumping whatnot, then you find the last door, and exit right into the waiting arms of Farah, and a bunch of these bad guy monster things. They move like, real slow, but they can fucking teleport for some reason, and they are all really good combatants, even the ones who used to be bakers and stable-boys. So you'll be off killing these guys, in a really fantastic battle, and one guy- a guy with a hammer with A HEAD THE SIZE OF A GODDAMNED SAAB positions himself right the fuck next to farah, who is armed with a bow, and proceeds to literally beat her to death, very slowly. The whole time, she's calling out for you to help her, but you kinda have problems of your own- problems with swords. But then you see she's about to die, and if she dies, it's just like if you die, so you have to save her. Oh yeah- those guys who are trying to kill you? They follow you. Then they are trying to kill you AND her. She pays no attention whatsoever to her attacker, instead focusing on the guys surrounding you, while she gets these gifts of massive blunt trauma, over and over again, from a guy she could drop before he got his hammer up. Fuck.


Music Of The Moment: "Counting Bodies Like Sheep To The Rhythm Of The War Drums" By A Perfect Circle. Very angry, very anti-war. Not a good song to listen to after stomping around like a jackass.


Word Of The Moment: Bastard- I was once kicked out of a chat room for saying the word bastard. Those bastards had this bot that was configured to kick anybody who cursed. I then proceeded to have a 30-minute conversation with the resident Op of the channel about just what made a word offensive. I mean, what if somebody wanted to have a serious, normal conversation about medievil weaponry, or 16th century cannons, or hell- maybe we want to talk about illegitimate children? I mean, just because somebody says a word like bastard doesn't mean they are calling you a bastard. fuckin' bastard.

You know, I just realized that a lot of those goddamned AOL "users" read that I was in a chat room, and went "whats a op", because people on aol can't spell, and don't have any punctuation on their keyboards. An Op is the Operator of a channel on IRC. The Op is the guy you bitch at if you get kicked out of the room for spurious reasons. And people in the IRC channels I frequent not only don't have user names like "snake888584"- they don't tolerate such people. If you can't come up with a creative enough name to avoid having a 5-digit character appended to it- stay offline. And just stay off AOL anyway.

Who am I?

I'm Skeletor, bitch. You betta recognize.

Things I Hate, Vol. 7,042

(insert disc 1)
(files copy)
Please insert disc #2
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Please insert disc #3
(files copy)
Please insert disc #1, again.
(nothing happens)
Please insert disc #4
(nothing happens)
Would you like to register?
(click no)
(registration screen pops up)
Please insert disc #1
(files copy)
Please insert disc #3
(ad/preview movies play)
Please insert disc #1
(play menu pops up)
(click play)
Please insert the play disc, labelled disc #4
(grit teeth)

What's the 'I' stand for again?

I just got, and whupped up on, the demo for tribes: vengeance. the demo was one of the lamest demos of all time. well, I mean, the actual gameplay, weapons, and whatnot were top-shelf. It's just that it was a 400-odd meg download, and there was this one map, which was a round arena with almost nothing in it, and it was like 200 feet across, and all you did was fly around with your teammates and hand out beatdowns to all the bad people who came in from these doors. Well, *I* handed out beatdowns - my teammates got in the way and died a lot. Over 400 megs for a demo I installed, and beat, inside of 15 minutes. It should take longer to play than it does to download, people. Hell, Quake was only like 150 megs for the whole damned game - and Quake was one of the best games of all time. But back to my dumbass, no skills having, cannon fodder, blind, completely useless, poor excuse for a team. They suck. They are lameasses. It isn't their fault, tho. Game developers have developed themselves a really low standard for game A.I. games that advertise - no - feature this fantastic A.I. that completely surpasses everything else that has ever been ever - have A.I enemies that see you and run toward you, even if you're holding a DeathDealer X-4bajillion, with new and improved Kill-O-Matic action. These games also have - almost all of them have it now - a Team. Team A.I. is even worse than enemy A.I. With the enemies, there are lots of them. Millions. You generally have 3 or 4 teammates, and if they die, which they do a lot because they suck, you generally have to start the level over. And you usually end up having to protect them because they suck and can't fend off a fucking Guy with a Stick, who sits there and slowly beats them to death while they keep saying "I'm all alone out here!" or "Need a little help here, boss!" Meanwhile, you've been killing the mutant alien robo-dragons, which shoot lasers from all 60 eyes and breathe black holes. You know, if the game developers made the A.I. so it emphasized the 'I' part, and perhaps gave my teammates the ability to, oh I don't know - HIT THE BROAD SIDE OF A BARN FROM INSIDE THE FUCKING BARN WITH BARN-SEEKING MISSLES, maybe they'd be a bit more useful. Ok, better now.

Music Of The Moment: It's actually a really lame cover of Devo's "Whip It" by some crappy band who sucks and has only played at that one bar, but they're gonna make it someday, but I'm gonna change it now. Hey, now it's "Corporate Cloning" off Fear Factory's newest album, "Archetype" I like "Slave Labor" better. it includes the lyric "god help me pour this gas on me" which isn't really grammatically correct, but cool nonetheless. It's not like I'm ever grammatically correct. Or politically correct. Overweight people are fat, women are bitches, jews are lazy, and people over 65 are fucking old, fucker. Vote for me in november, kiddies. Speaking of kiddies - you see the tits on that 14-year-old? Shit, dawg. Vote for me.

Word Of The Moment: Archetype, Which is the original model of something. Like jesus was the model for hippies, and bands like the beatles and elvis were the archetype for the radio format known as "FM" - oh, wait, I meant "classic", but once you count everything up, the classic stations really take up enough of the dial that the rest can just be eliminated and called the 'margin of error'.

I just realized something

I am God here. I rule completely and totally. I am the Alpha and the Omega. I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. I rock. That's really a powertrip, being omnipotent. Holding domain over something. I hold this whole world in my hands. Somebody kneel.

word of the moment: frottage. Frottage is getting your jollies by rubbing up against people who don't know you are getting your jollies rubbing up against people. Think about that the next time you get on a bus...

HAPPY PATRIOT DAY!

Happy Patriot Day! The day when we all celebrate the glad tidings of the felling of two of the largest structures ever erected, killing thousands in the process. Wait a minute... that's a bad thing.
Why would you make a holiday for something so terrible? And what kind of card do you buy for that? It's not a real holiday, anyway. It isn't a real holiday until I get paid more for working on it.

Link Of The Moment: I'll have extra cheese on mine, please. That site is sad, and not the crying kind of sad. It's a touching tribute to the memory of those who died on that terrible day - featuring pictures of the plane hitting the tower. Remembrance of those lost is best not spurred by images of the actual tragedy that took their lives. Kinda like how the primary symbol of christianity is the very object jesus was nailed to, and the object on which he suffered terribly, endured pain beyond what most people will ever know, and died. I think christianity oughta have something a little less tragic to base the religion around. In that vein: I watched parts of The Movie Of The Passion Of The Christ, which I downloaded off The Internet. That's a really really violent movie. Bloody and nasty and just painful. They emphasize the suffering and the horrible pain Jesus endured. The last half of the movie is Jesus getting a red-assed beatdown from the Romans, and the first half is the jews saying "Somebody oughta give that Jesus guy a red-assed beatdown." - only in aramaic, because nobody speaks english in that movie. Not a movie to take kids to, especially if you want them to grow up to still be christians.

Music Of The Moment: "311 Sucks!" by Anal Cunt. They parody some crappy song by 311, mumbling the lyrics, and then at some point the singer screams "YOU FUCKIN SUCK!" at the top of his lungs. Quality.

When Good Targetted Ads Go Bad!

I (currently as of this post) host my blog on aloof hosting (they "indifferently" host my site. I like that). Aloof hosting uses google text ads on pages. I like google text ads. They are orders of magnitude less annoying and intrusive than most other types of ad, and they are targetted, so they do occasionally display something at least partially relevant. But not here. A few posts back I dissed on volkswagen for their misnomer on wheels, the phaeton. I happen to like the fine folks at VW, and I think they make (and used to make) a lot of fine vehicles. They just need to fire whoever has been doing the naming. Since that post, google has decided that I run a phaeton fansite, or something. every time I view the page, I see text ads related to the damned phaeton. I was being mean to the phaeton. I don't like them. This is a bad bad page to advertise the phaeton. At least I haven't seen any ads for britney spears, who is a slutty bitch with no talent, and who I hope dies in some horrible fashion - like being being beheaded (very slowly) by a glacier. I'm actually fairly indifferent to the whole britney thing. I mean - she sucks and everything, and I'd probably hate her truly and deeply if I actually knew her, but other than that - she's just another set of tits singing songs she didn't write. She's paparazzi fodder.

Music Of The Moment: "sum of your achievements" by nailbomb. Nailbomb was a one-album side project of Max Cavalera from Sepultura, and later Soulfly. and, uh, The guy from Fudge Tunnel. What the hell kind of a band name is "fudge tunnel", anyway? That's just wrong.

Word Of The Moment: Annelid I was messing with an anagram generator, and discovered one of the many anagrams you can make from my full name is "asinine annelid", and I like that. You can also make "denials annie in". I don't know what to think of that one. sounds almost.... prude
You can also do, weirdly, "ideal insane inn". Cool. I'd sleep there.

By The Way, If you can guess my full real name from those anagrams, I'll give you a cookie.
My full real name is not Twilight Jones. Yes I really do have that many "I"s and "N"s in my name.

Things I Hate - Volume 445

Easily one of the most idiotic things microsoft has ever intentionally done: You can't drag anything onto a folder or app's taskbar button - and windows will tell you such when you let go of the button. It tells you, essentially, to wait a second so the window pops up, and you can do it that way. So you can't drag an item onto the taskbar, unless you wait 2 seconds, then you can drag it into the window that pops up. Completely without worth, and completely stupid. It wastes time and adds steps. There are no positives, other than the fact that you can't accidentally blind-drag to the wrong window, but anyone above troglodyte iq can fix that - by dragging it back out.

GABBER!!!!!

Here's what I'm listening to:
I got this hair up my ass to download a big fuckload of gabber mp3s. What's gabber? Ok - you know how when somebody who doesn't like electronic music makes fun of it? Well, when they say "You can't tell the difference between the songs, and there isn't any variance within the songs.", and then they say the beat always sounds like "BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM" - they're exactly describing gabber. Actually, they way I said people describe the songs isn't accurate. generally people say "the songs are all stupid and boring", but I didn't say that because I can make that exact claim about country music. Pretty much all gabber is the same tempo, and it all has a dominating 4/4 beat, and it all uses the same one or two samples looped over and over again throughout the entire song, and they all have almost no variance at all, except sometimes during the end when it slows down a bit, or the pitch of something changes. It's the music of raves, of 15-year-olds with blue hair and multiple facial piercings who are constantly under the effects of some party drug and who either are, or want to be "emancipated" because they hate their parents soooo much. And I've got 130 of these in my winamp queue.

Sorry

I run at 1600X1200, and I only now looked at this thing in 800X600, and... I'm real sorry. I hope that, with time, everyone who views the web at 800X600 will go blind, and I can stop worrying about how ginormous this page looks at lower resolutions.

I'm sorry.

Happy Whatever

I turn 28 today. Can't you just feel how ecstatic I am about it? I mean people always get up about their birthdays, but I am just up. 28 is a magic number, and I'm finally magic. Attention Houston: We are shiny. You cannot imagine how alive I feel. Finally one step closer, one year closer to the grave - the sweet cool earth I so eagerly await to be enveloped by. Depressed? No, no no no. Not me. Not after I got that zoloft. I feel great. Boy, do I ever crave the comforting embrace of death's sweet kiss. That'll be so great. I mean really, great.
The Panama canal also has a birthday today. It's a little older than me, I think. That's still just great, tho. I mean really, great.

Adult Links Ahead!

In searching for pictures that look like modern sedans for the last post, I stumbled across This Site, which has some very cool tasteful nude 'figure study' type photos. Don't worry about it being in some northern european language - you can click around and look without knowing what the links are to. The people in these pictures are nude, though, so consider yourself warned. I don't wanna get all litigated because some snotnose little 6 year old came across my blog and clicked a link that didn't clearly state it was to an adult site, and so I was clearly endangering children with my gross negligence. That being said, I was glad that for a site containing lots of nude figure studies, it was almost completely devoid of sausage shots.

Attention Volkswagen:

This is a phaeton.
This This This and This are also phaetons.

This is car named "Phaeton"
These are not phaetons.
Neither is This This This or This

I'm sorry that you misunderstood the meaning of the word 'phaeton'. That car you produce... you can call it a phaeton - you can call it a Highboy for all I care. I would just like to point out that the car you call a phaeton is not, in fact, a phaeton. It's a sedan. Much like This is not a Karman Ghia and This is not a New Beetle.

While we're on the subject, What the fuck is Touareg supposed to mean?

Hands off the unit, sporto.

Koro
Yeah, I don't really know what to say about that. Except that maybe you should wear a cup.

Big pipes, man.

This is the website of the largest pipe organ in the world. I'd sell family members into slavery to hear Toccata and Fugue live on this thing.

Music Of The Moment: "Toccata" by J.S. Bach, as played on the largest pipe organ in the world. You just can't get the experience from an mp3, I'm afraid.

What I rode home to this morning.

If I was god - I would have signed it.

I still ride a bike.

Jesus. That's a story about how, in california, they've managed to outlaw giant SUV's on most residential roads, but they don't enforce it. See, if your vehicle weighs over 6000 pounds, it can qualify you for a 100% tax break on it if you pretend you only use it for business. It also qualifies you for the "cockless suburbanite fucktard" badge. And you can't legally drive on most roads in California, because the maximum weight on most of the roads in 6000 pounds. You buy this vehicle that uses 75 gallons of gas per mile, spewing much of it back into the atmosphere, yet you don't worry because not only are you immune to gas guzzler and emissions laws because you aren't driving a passenger vehicle - you're immune to the other laws that affect large real commercial vehicles, too. Plus you're an asshole. Do me a favor - look outside at your car:

• Is it larger than some houses?


• Does it cost more to start than some vehicles do to drive to mexico?

Well then, you have one of the giant SUV's. Now answer some more questions for me, if you would:

• Is it dirty?


• Has it ever been dirty - really dirty?

If you answered no, then you have no use for this vehicle, and should go dig the gun I know you have out of your closet, place the barrel gently in your mouth, and pull the trigger until your finger stops working. I'm serious. If I inspire mass suicide by the cockless suburbanite fucktard assholes who own and lumber these things around our nations streets and byways, I'll be happy to do any required jailtime.
Oh, and if you paid more than 100,000 bucks for your giant SUV - kill yourself regardless of the dirt level on it. You have no reason to live, and the world will be a better place for having lost you. It's worth it - do it.

Before a bunch of normal cockless people get all upset - if your hummer is encrusted with mud, or if your particular giant suv cost more than 100,000 bucks mostly because your tires cost 6000 bucks a piece - you're fine. You still have no penis, but your life isn't forfeit. At least your life isn't forfeit because of your vehicle ownership - I don't know you that well.

I'm such a fuckin' choirboy.

So I just counted, and apparently - I've only used the word "fuck" in 46 out of 196 posts. Well, 47 now. This is just unacceptable. I use fuck way more than that in real life. I mean - I just can't stop saying it. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck. Fucker.

Link Of The Moment: Asterisky

Word Of The Moment: You guessed it. The dictionary.com page for 'fuck' is surprisingly informative, actually.

Just to clarify...

In This Post, which I posted on Aug. 4th, I mentioned britney spears' new album as being totally blah. This makes it look as though I've actually heard her new album - I have not. I've voiced my opinion about ms/mrs/ms spears in the past. I am not what you'd call a "fan" of her "music", nor do I think her to be attractive in any way other than the standard barbie doll one. People who aspire to look like barbie have no self image. I don't care what she does with her hair or what tattoo her manager advised she get in a place where it just barely peeks out - she's barbie spears.

Music Of The Moment: "Into The Darkness" by kittie. Kittie made me think there is hope for canada. Kittie is 4 canadian girls, who rock as hard as any other metal band - even the scandinavian ones. Kittie is the anti-britney.

Link Of The Moment: KHAAAAAAANNNN!!!!!!

Word Of The Moment: Natatorial which is a really fancy way to say 'swimming'. As in "Being thrown into the ocean 30 miles from land tends to inspire one to the natatorial pursuits." Not a word I use everyday.

Yes, yes it is nice.

So I got Doom 3 to work - and all I gotta say is Wow. It's just this regular, everyday, normal, jaw-droppingly beautiful jaunt thru a futuristic military/research base, and then things go wrong, and then the guy turns into a friggin' zombie right in front of you! I only killed like 3 or 4 things, but I was truly afraid of them. I mean - the guy turns into a friggin' zombie right in front of you! This flaming skull thing goes thru him, and he starts moaning, and attacks you - right as the lights have gone out. Then you kill this other guy who comes in thru the door, and it's totally dark, and you have a flashlight, but you can't use it and shoot at zombies at the same time. I'm in love. And I haven't even seen an imp or anything yet.

No links or words this time - I'm busy.

Right in front of you! A friggin' zombie!

I hear it's nice.

yeah, so it's been a while since I posted. It's not that I didn't have anything to say - it's that I didn't feel like posting.

I've begun a couple of new things. First up, Doom 3. Doom 3 will be my life, my all-consuming addiction - just as soon as I can get it to work. see, it crashes 10-15 seconds after loading. And by 'crashes' I mean 'hardlocks my goddamned computer.' I don't want to talk about it anymore. It makes me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Y'know, cuz I can be a prick.
The other new thing I'm doing, and only started doing this sunday: I'm playing dungeons and dragons. I'm a half-elf cleric of Kord, god of brawling, drinking, battle and athleticism. Mostly the drinkin' and fightin', tho. I've managed to get KO'd by a friggin' kobold with a wand that fires magic missle. yeah, I feel like a pussy. I'm supposed to be Mr. Big Bad Broadsword, and Mr. Rat Lizard With A Stick knocked me to negative hit points. Then later a goblin got a critical on me - for 4 points. I was so upset I had to chop his goblin ass in twain. I'm both the heavy fighter and the healer of our party. Probably not the best combination, considering I only picked up a bow in our last battle, which means I'll spend most of my time having sharp things land on me - and I'm the guy who's supposed to keep everybody alive.

Music Of The Moment: "One Perfect Sunrise" by Orbital. It's ok techno, but I prefer "Bachelorette" by Bjork, which was on before. I love Bjork. I want her to have my children. I want us to marry and move to Reykjavik. I'll convert for her. Bjork is a member of Asatru, which is one of the elder, predating pretty much everything religions. I could go for worshipping Thor and Odin.

Link Of The Moment: Asatru

Word Of The Moment: Blah but only because I'm amazed it's in there. I'll use it in a sentence: Britney Spears' new album is totally blah! Like, Drivel-icious!

TEH FUNNAY!!!!1

This is the funniest thing anyone has ever said in a movie. Ever. Nothing else to say, really.

Music Of The Moment: "Love to Hate" by Slayer. Fun guys, Slayer.
Word Of The Moment: Nothing. I couldn't think of anything. I think mostly because I'm tired and sick. And together we are: SICK&TIRED!

Gamey Goodness. Or Badness. Either One.

So this post is about games. I know I have a lot of those, but I play a lot, so I feel justified.
 
This is something I've noticted in games - most all of them.  I hate how one shot to the head will kill somebody instantly - unless he knows you're shooting at him. Once alert, everybody gets some kind of internal kevlar helmet. They also get perfect night vision scopes once you've fired. If you fire one bullet into the back of some guy's head, everybody else - who was facing the other way, spins around and knows you've shifted over behind the car and adjust their "blind" aim to suit. They act like they can't see you, but when you move, so does the rain of bullets. And the bosses are "Just Tougher". I love those games, where the boss is just like anybody else, and there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to slay him with the same brutal effectiveness you dispatch everybody else with - but for some reason this guy can just take rockets to the forehead like nobody's business. I guess being evil or mean makes you more resistant to explosives and bullets and big fucking swords that cut everybody else clean the fuck in half. I can see the demon/giant spider/undead abomination/radioactive biomechanical mutant squirrel being hard to kill, but if the big boss is just this guy, and he's the mastermind behind all the evil, for some reason you can unload the ManKillerX4000 into his throat and he'll just run around the corner, or he'll whip out his Pistol That Hurts More Than Any Other Gun In The Game and fire away like you weren't putting 8 pounds of lead a second thru his larynx. And he's the most accurate shot in the world. He can be doing a flip thru an explosion and hit you, running behind a scaffolding 50 yards away, in the forehead, shooting from the hip, with a flintlock pistol, in a snowstorm. And he has an eyepatch.
 
Music Of The Moment: "crimson and clover" by Tommy James and The Shondells. Voted "best use of tremelo" for 1968.
 
Link Of The Moment: Turkish Delight
 
Word Of The Moment: Adjoining which isn't really an obscure or hard word - but it's just such a great one. I mean - just say it: Adjoining. Ad-Joy-Ning. Isn't that just fantastic to say?

They're coming...

You thought it was a joke and so you laughed - you laughed when I had said that losing you would make me flip my lid, right?

You know you laughed, I heard you laugh. You laughed, you laughed and laughed and then you left but now you know I'm utterly mad!

current music: "phone calls from the dead" by meat beat manifesto. I don't like it that much. If I wasn't so lazy, I'd bring winamp up and find something worthwhile. Ok, now it's "lovesong" by the cure. Much better. And much better than that cheesy reggae version 311 dropped recently, like so many steaming piles of alpaca manure.

link of the moment: They're coming to take me away Ha-Haaa!

word of the moment: Alpaca It's my animal du jour, replacing ostriches, which replaced monkeys, which replaced dimetrodons. I occasionally choose some semi-random animal I can apply to funny situations and keep it for a while. I was all over monkeys until it got all popular. being a trendsetter is only cool until the trend is set. I was kinda getting bored with ostriches, and besides - alpacas are just so... obscure.

Spidey Senses Tingling!

Oh wait - that's just my ointment.

So I just watched spider-man 2. Well, I watched spiderman 2, but I'm still using the hyphen so fuck you. I had read that spider(hyphen)man 2 was a pretty good fucken movie, so I Piratized© it - and yes, Spider(hyphen)Man 2 is a really good fucken movie. Especially the part where venom kills Mary Jane. Oops. Spoiler alert. You shouldn't have read that part if you haven't seen the movie yet.
Since I'm on the subject of spoilers - You probably shouldn't go to Moviepooper.com if you haven't seen every movie ever made.

current music: "more human that human (meet bambi in the king's harem mix)" by white zombie. It's a badass remix of a badass song, which makes me also a badass.

HOT PORN LINKS!

Links to the 1600X1200 versions of my new porn-based images:
Porn - Light is the first one I posted, with the whitewash over it.
Porn - Dark is, obviously, a darker version of the first one.
Porn - Orgy is the darker, redder version without the shadows and lines over the top.
Ass Orgy has nothing to do with porn, but the name fits with the scheme, and it's a good way to throw you off after all that skin.

The same image as before, without the shattered effect on it, and filtered to a darker, redder look. I'm using this one as my wallpaper.

Another image using porn as a source. This one less distorted, and no faces.

Here's that image I said I was working on - the one with all the porn. Click on it to get the 1600X1200 version. A quote from Spauldo: "Wow, that's like hell for pornstars."

Tried to get an 'old photo' look. Original can be found here

Sam's Place

So I got a job. I now work for... well, I won't mention the name - but let's just say it's the largest company in the world, headquarted in Bentonville, Arkansas and mascotted by a smiley face - and leave it at that. I'll be doing what I apparently love - floor maintenance. I am a Floor Maintenance Technician, or Mop Jockey for short. I do enjoy it. I mean, I'm in a company totally dedicated to customer service - but in a position where I'll never see any customers.

word of the moment: salubrious - one of those words that sounds dirty but isn't. I mean, just say it a couple times, slowly - Salubrious. Saluuuuuubrious. Nasty, ain't it? Know what salubrious means? Conducive to health. Eating your vegetables and sleeping are salubrious activities. A real downer of a word, if you ask me, which you wouldn't have.

current music: "'A' Is For Apathy" by Powerman 5000. "Everybody's here but nobody showed up." Yeah...

And I don't think "mascotted" is a real word. Lemme check... nope. I don't care tho. Now it is. I just invented it. I'm a rogue lexicographer, as of this moment. If I put some word that doesn't exist in here and it isn't just a typo - I did it on purpose and intend to spread that word into common usage through this medium. just remember that. And the opposite of "Mini" is "Wumbo", according to Patrick Star.

I worry me sometimes. Well, alltimes.

Rammstein, Pornography

I got a .torrent of every cd Rammstein has put out. I've been listening to german industrial metal all day, and it's been doing things to me. I'm different now. I want to grind things. I want to wear military gear and rubber pipes and sing in german. But I'll get over it.
I also downloaded lots and lots of porn. Mostly pictures, so it's not like I have to go buy a 50pack of dvd-r media to hold it all - but it's still a lot of porn. I have an excuse for it now, tho. I got an idea for a weird picture involving lots of porn pictures. I'll post it when I make it.

current music: Rammstein - all of it. Actually, my playlist has 82 Rammstein songs, and 1 Bloodhound Gang song - "You're Pretty When I'm Drunk." It's right after "Wollt Ihr Das Bett In Flammen"

Word Of The Moment: Prurient, as in "In the prurient interest", which is how you determine if something is offensive and should be banned, or if it's sexxxxxayy, and should be masturbated to. Prurience is an inordinate interest in sex. So it's every human male between 13-18.

hard words

The past couple of posts have been made with a program called "hello", by picasa software, who I can't be bothered to go find and link to right now. Basically it's an instant messenger that allows you to upload pics to a server for purposes of blogging. It has other purposes, I'm sure - but I don't care.

word of the moment: syzygy - It's the first WOTM that I didn't know the meaning of to begin with. syzygy is when the sun, moon, and earth all line up. It's also the shortest word in the english language where Y appears 3 times. and It's a bot in Unreal Tournament 2003. The pronunciation key looks like cuneiform, but you say "siss-i-gee" with the I being pronounced like in fish.

Yeah, right - when pigs fly.

yes, we have no bananas.

Testing

Testing, testing, one two three...
testing comments. whee.
This is to test the comments, which I just now turned on.
Please feel free to comment on any and all posts I make in here.
I'd especially love it if you point out my spelling errors, grammatical mistakes, and false assumptions - that's what the internet is for, after all.
Actually, I would really appreciate comments on any past post you find interesting, funny, offensive - whatever. I crave the attention.
Of course, if you have mastery of time travel, feel free to comment on future posts as well.

garfield is the worst movie ever.

There, I said it. Not much else to discuss, I guess.

word of the moment: schlock - as in the elvis impersonation and james brown dance a certain orange cgi cat did in a certain worst movie ever to sully a movie screen.

current music: It's "Garfield is the worst movie ever" by the catbeaters.

Good lord that movie sucks.

In other news - I guess the banana worked.

Did I just do that?

Did I really just go on a "Kids These Days" diatribe - about video games? What a weird time to grow old. Sonny, back in my day, bikes didn't have suspension, candy bars cost 50 cents, and video games were goddamned hard! and heavily pixelated, too - we didn't have no 16X full screen adaptive anti-aliasing at 1600X1200@245fps. Our games were blocky, in 16 colors, and slow. And we were glad to have them! Mario Bros 3 was a technological wonder, damnit! (shakes cane)

Rockman

Anybody remember MegaMan? I know they're up to megaman X9++ ultra, but do you remember MegaMan 1? Before he had all those friends and a robot dog and stuff? I saw this game with 10 classic MegaMan games, and went "Hey, that'd be cool! Oldschool MegaMan kicked ass!" But then I remembered - MegaMan was really fucking hard. I got my ass handed to me every time I played those games, even when I used a game genie. It's like "Make this damn-near impossible jump, but try not to land on the 42 spiky things that can leap halfway across the screen, and also avoid the flying things that will knock you into that bottomless pit there, and also you have to jump right now because the floor you're standing on is falling into the aforementioned pit." I just wanted to say that. MegaMan was really really hard. All these kids now don't know what hard is. They beat quake 3 and think they're badass. If games were dives, MegaMan would be the triple lindey, and quake 3 would be a cannonball. I'm just saying.

current music: "Duality" by Slipknot. In the video, tons of angry teens tear this house to shit. I remember "There Goes The Neighborhood" by Body Count, where the band tore up an abandoned trailer, and the video got banned for being too violent. I like both videos.

word of the moment: Juggernaut A juggernaut is a terrible force that destroys all in its path, like democracy. It's also one of the representations of krishna in the hindu faith. And a supervillain. I hope Juggernaut winds up in X-men 3. He's a badass.

reciprocity revisited

In reference to yon post, I guess 3 participants doesn't actually constitute an orgy.

word of the moment: menage a trois - obviously. This is three people, fucking one another, in unison. The actual definiton differs somewhat from what every single living human being considers a menage a trois, but to hell with every single living human being - what do they know?

bonus word: orgy - which, of course, is much like the previous in that every single living human being that doesn't study ancient greece thinks it means "lots of people fucking in a big room", even though the original meaning is somewhat different. But like I said - to hell with every single living human being.

Fucking Marketing Scum

So, the Fucking Marketing Scum slithered out from under their rocks and decided that the world needs more ads. And they decided that the most ad-poor place - is your supermarket produce section. I've got bananas - with a sticker on them telling me to see Garfield, the movie. I am personally offended by this. This is worse than the FMS trying to get ads on a space shuttle, or tombstones - both of which have been attempted. Fucking Marketing Scum.

current music: It's "God Hates Us All" - another upbeat work from those model citizens, Slayer. The album was released on sep 11, 2001, which is when some bad thing happened, I can't remember what. something about Iraq crashing our planes or something. If you're into angry thrashy heavy music with an anti-religious bent, I highly recommend it. Otherwise, you'll probably hate it, and come to hate me for mentioning it - and I'll be fine with that, because I already hate you, fucker.

word of the moment: I couldn't find a suitable page with the definition, but this word of the moment is lagnonector. A lagnonector is a person who kills in order to have sex with the corpse. Fun fun. here's a page with a bunch of sex and pregnancy terms starting with the letter L, including lagnonector.

Reciprocity

A few posts back I said I didn't think "fop" meant anything. It does.
I remembered, I own this really crappy dictionary, and it includes fop as part of a 3-way orgy of reciprocal definitions. A Fop is a dude or a dandy, a dude is a fop, and a dandy is a dude, or a fop. Clears that up.
This is the same dictionary that had simile, but not metaphor. Yeah.

word of the moment: fop - I mean, what else would it be in this post? Dictionary.com does a hell of a lot better job at explaining what a fop is. And I was right - it is a bad thing.

The <COLOR> Album

White
Green
Brown
Orange
Pink
Blue
Black
Also Black
Off-White
Red
Grey
Yellow

Dinosaurs Are Getting Expensive.

As a reference to this post, read This Post from way back in July of 2001. I was upset about the price of gas. Pissed, even. Gas was like 1.20 a gallon then. The national average is now dangerously close to 2.00 a gallon. My parents talk about when gas was 50 cents a gallon, waaaaaaaay back when they were kids, before I was born. Now I can tell teenagers "I remember when gas was HALF the price it is now." And they'll go "Yeah, me too. it was 4 years ago." Economists say that when you take inflation into account, gas is actually nowhere near record highs. Fuck economists. Economists should look at me. I was making 7.50 an hour in 1998 when gas was 1.00 a gallon. A month ago I was making 7.50 an hour - and gas was 1.97 a gallon. Inflation can go fuck itself. When my wages inflate to match everything else, I'll be ok with the price of gas. The heirs of all those prehistoric creatures who became the oil which became the gas we're paying so much for should sue somebody. It's the Amurican way.

current music: "Satan Gave Me A Taco" by Beck. I love that song.
word of the moment: inflation - Including the quote "In inflation everything gets more valuable except money." I'll just let that one stand on it's own.

Go on, brush your shoulders off.

Said the ladies they love me - from the bleachers they screamin'
all the ballers is bouncin' - they like the way I be leanin'
all the rappers is hatin' off the track that I'm makin'
but all the hustlers they love it just to see one of us make it.

word of the moment: braggadocio ...as the best rapper alive - nigga axe about me.

Use%20underscores%20once%20in%20a%20while.

You know your car is too large when you bottom out on the curvature of the earth.
You know you've had too much coffee when your urine comes out speaking Spanish. (spanish is spoken in Colombia.... think a while, it'll come to you.)

word of the moment: onomatopoeia It's words that sound like what they are. Buzz is a good onomatopoeia. So is whomp.

Immaculate, indeed (biblical sex, wordplay)

I wonder what the virgin Mary's parents thought when she told them she was pregnant, but hadn't actually had sex with Joseph. And did they tell little jesus that Joe was his "uncle" or something? And did Mary and Joseph ever end up actually doing it? I bet her parents went "ohhh... that's wonderful" but were thinking something like "she's been whoring around with that pool boy again, I just bet you. Immaculate, indeed." And I always thought the whole immaculate comception was a little odd, considering that God has a real problem with people conceiving out of wedlock. I don't think God and Mary were married, and although he didn't actually lay her down and make sweet holy love to her down by the fire - he did still impregnate her. And violated one of his biggest rules in the process. Of course, religious folk will go "that's different." or something, but I don't care. I don't get a lot of things, tho. Like why is there a word for a gay woman, but not one for a gay man? If you are homosexual, you can be homosexual or gay, or various other nasty terms - but a gay woman can be more specific - she can be a lesbian. A gay guy can't distinguish his gender - he's just gay. So you have to say "gay man" when gender is required. I also wonder why there isn't a female version of misogynist. There are certainly man-hating women - why isn't there a word for them? Besides bitch or something, I mean. There also isn't a female equivalent of Effeminate, which means 'girly man', basically. Calling a woman 'butch' is asking for a hairy-knuckled fist in the teeth - some things can't be said, no matter how true they are. I have a thing for words, though, which is probably why I sit and wonder about these things when I really ought to be out mowing the lawn or something. I think I want to start a campaign to allow unusual plurals to flourish. I think that most words ending in 's' or 'sh' whould be given weird plurals. Examples: Danish should be Danishae, and Oasis should be Oasii. I'd call it the "Citizenry for odd pluralo" or something. Maybe not, because that would be pronounced "see-fop", and It's been my experience that acronyms containing words like Fop are a bad idea. Fop is one of those words that I don't actually think means anything, but it sounds weird, like it should mean something, and it should be unpleasant.

The Lord's Real Name Is Jim (non-activism)

I wonder if they have a religion/political party/country for people like me. I have the general attitude of "you do your thing and stay the fuck out of mine." People should live right, and treat other people right, and shut the hell up and stop bothering everybody else because they aren't living the right kind of right. Just because I think guns are nifty or The Lord's real name is Jim, doesn't mean I'm doing it wrong. If I thought people with freckles were sent by satan and must die - well that's different. I see people following what I consider to be completely nutty and comically absurd ways of life - and I mean like "the original batman series" absurd - but I let them do their thing. As long as your thing doesn't interfere in other people's things, or hurt or kill other people - go ahead and have fun with it. My way of life has advantages - I don't get all fussy when I see somebody against something I'm for - because I don't care. Let them think the earth is flat - it just means I can laugh about it. Let them worship Buddha or wear tinfoil on their heads or vote for Nader or get naked and dance around a bonfire on the third tuesday of every october because - and this is the important part - I don't. I do my thing, and let everybody else do theirs. I think this should extend everywhere. Let radio and tv carry what people might find obscene. The old addage still stands - if you don't agree with it, don't take part. Don't listen or watch, and let people who want to listen and watch do so, and shut the fuck up about it, you whiny baby. Just because you don't think something should be the way it is doesn't mean everybody else does - or should. I personally practice no religion at all. This tends to upset religious folks, because at the root of it all - I'm doing it wrong. With politics it's easier - I don't vote, and nobody really cares. All the political ads are aimed at people just like me, but I don't watch them. I'm not an "undecided voter", because I've decided - to not vote.

The Complete Service Toilet Store (plumbing fixtures, sexual deviance)

I figured out long ago how I could make a stable living in a market that will never dry up: I could sell toilets. See, *everybody* needs a toilet, at some point. Every house has at least one, and barring some rapid evolution or invention of a new way to remove waste from the home - the toilet is here to stay. There are a very small number of people who don't use them, of course - people living in the mountains who think toilets have transmitters in them so the CIA will know what you eat, and people who, for medical reasons, go in a bag they carry around with them. I know selling toilets isn't glamorous, and I know that people don't just get up one day and go "hey - I think we oughta buy a toilet!", but I think toilets are just about the most stable market there is, short of maybe toilet paper. Of course, if I really wanted to make money, I could film porn on the side. Porn involving toilets. And hermaphrodites. I'm not sure why, but for some reason, a few years ago, the porn industry as a whole decided that girls peeing was sexy. I don't get it. I see nothing at all sexy about a girl taking a leak - not even the voyeur side of it - peeking in a window or something. I can't wrap my brain around what people would find appealing about watching other people urinate. Now, drinking pee, I can see. There's a real obvious dom/sub relationship when you tinkle in somebody's mouth. But just seeing somebody go... I don't get it. I think it was about the same time that the industry (I'm good friends with the porn industry, so I can just call it "the industry, like I'm in the know) decided that guys like women with penises. I think I get this one. I think the industry knows that a lot of guys have those dark urges to try out what their upbringing tells them is taboo: fucking another dude. So there have been ads for some time in the back of porn mags and stuff with pics of guys offering phone sex. These things were aimed, ostensibly, at gay and bi men, but the fact that they appeared in straight porn mages otherwise filled with pics of women taking dick means they obviously played at guys who wanted to try it, but didn't want to actually go find a guy. I think the chicks with dicks ads are the same thing: A guy sees a woman - guys are *supposed* to be having sex with women - that's fine. If "she" has a cock - that's not really technically a guy, right? I mean, just because this woman has a dong and you fuck her in the ass after she gives you a BJ doesn't make you gay, right? Truth is: those pics are either doctored, or the women were. See, there have been maybe 5 actual hermaphrodites in recorded history. An actual woman who just happens to have a dick doesn't exist. Those "women" are in fact guys, gay guys usually, who are taking estrogen and had boob jobs. Which means that were you to actually encounter one of these people in a sexual manner, you would in fact be having sex with a guy, with tits and a girl haircut. But apparently guys don't see it that way, since it seems 2 out of 10 phone sex ads in the back of those magazines has a tranny in the picture. So my toilet business would make extra money making films of tstv's pissing on guys on the toilet. And I suppose I could sell a clear acrylic one to the paranoid guy in the mountains. And maybe if I sold colostomy bags and diapers, I could cover 100% of all people. The complete service toilet store.

For people too drunk to stir (soft, hard drinks)

So, I see this diet coke with lime, and I wonder about things. Firstly, I wonder - does it taste like a cleaning product or something? diet coke with lemon tasted exactly and totally like somebody opened a diet coke and put an alka-seltzer cold'n'flu tablet in it, which is not quite as tasty as it sounds, which is bad because it doesn't sound very tasty at all. But I also wonder - did the coke folk make this because it was the next logical step, citrus-wise, in the fruit chain? Because I mean diet coke with grapefruit or orange sounds like it wouldn't sell very well. But if they didn't just do it because lime comes after lemon - did they do it because some bigwig at coca-cola really digs cuba libres? I mean, the cuba libre is, after all, a rum and coke with some lime juice in it. This product cuts out the middleman, so to speak. That'd be cool if they started making club soda mixed with amaretto or creme de menthe, too. I don't know why you can't just buy a real honest-to-goodness boilermaker or dirty martini in a can. You can buy some rum'n'cola'n'natural'n'artificial flavors in a can, and you can get stuff like mudslides and white russians, but those are pussified 8% alchohol versions, not a bottle with real rum and coke or real kahlua and vodka. I should sell those. "Dr. Twilight's real mixed drinks in a can - for people too drunk to stir" You could use beer math on them, too. "man, I got shitfaced on a sixer of grasshoppers last night." I like how beer gives you one ability: you can multiply, divide, add, and subtract anything to or from the numbers 6, 12, 18, 24, and 30 - in your head, instantly, while half drunk. If there are 4 people drinking, and each is on their 3rd beer, you know instantly, without having to figure anything in your head, that the case is half gone, and that somebody oughta go get another one before you get past the excuse level. See, I think if a cop pulls you over and smells beer, and you go "I had three, I'm fine, dude." - he might just let you go. But if you just pounded back a sixer, you ain't going home tonight. You can't make an excuse for driving around with half a gallon of beer in you - 3 you can manage. "My damn wife is pregnant and I absolutely had to go buy rum raisin ice cream, right now." - to which the cop might say "Stay off the main roads - my wife always wanted pickles and dr. pepper." Even if your wife is barren, that one probably has a good chance of working with 3 beers. but if you've just finished 6 and say "I needsh to buy another cashe", well then, you're going to jail tonight. By the way, "barren" is a terrible way to say a woman can't have a kid for some reason. It makes her sound like an old dried out field or something.

I invented my gods (complete randomness)

Pardon me boy, is that the chatanooga choo-choo? I ask, not because I actually think the frozen food aisle here in the grocery store is a train station, or that I think you, the stock boy, are the engineer or something - but I think it's a good way to start conversation. I mean, I ask you if that display of cap'n crunch is a train, you go "eh?" and then I can go off on a tangent, about how I read on this website about a bunch of people who want to get the cap'n promoted to admiral for some reason. I mean, I wouldn't promote him. I personally know the cap'n, and his place is on his big cartoon boat, not commanding some fleet of cereal-based warships, bound for milkitania, to overthrow the despot ruling it and to free the people, not, as some people think, to let the cartoon cereal mascots have easy access to that country's great stores of milk. I know we already conquered spoonland, and now spoons are cheap and plentiful here, and the new country, The United States Spoonland Federated Territories, is the geographical equivalent of a steaming pile of alpaca manure, only with less nutrients - but at least they are free from the terrible state-enforced free healthcare, education, and utilities. You know, while we're talking about cereal, don't you miss boo-berry crunch? I mean, it was the most godawful tasting bile of a cereal, but it turned your milk *blue*. Anything that makes milk blue without also making it poison is a gift from the gods. Also, I think stuff that makes milk blue *and* poison is a gift from the gods, but I probably worship the wrong gods. I invented my gods. I'm the only person who worships my gods, who mostly deal in turning things different colors. I think my religious system stems from the spiritual experience I had at the crayola factory. See, when I was young, My school went on a tour of the crayola crayon factory, and I got to see all the neat crayons and stuff, but then - They gave me a box of crayons! For free, without me doing anything spectacular or noteworthy. I mean, this guy just walked up and gave me a whole box of my very own crayons. I was so happy I went home and drew gods on the walls of my room with the crayons. Each color was a different god. I have 8. The blue god changes things into blue, but sometimes he also makes them poison. I think he's the bad one. Him and white. That white god hardly does anything, unless I leave like, pudding or something in my fridge for a couple months, then it turns white. But when the white god turns stuff white, it almost always smells real bad and tastes kinda funny. I can't usually remember what it tastes like, but I know the people in the hospital also wear white, which I think the white crayon god makes them do to freak me out. Oh, hey, so if you're the stock boy, and I wanted, say, shark fin, could you go out and catch a shark and defin it for me? Because I want my shark fin to be really really fresh. I make fermented shark fin soup from it. Hey, where are you going?

It begins...

I'm fixing to post my braindumps. These will follow a pattern. I write these things, then pick some odd line from them as a title. So any oddness in the title of each post in entirely intentional. Here we go.

ho-lee crap!

How about that - almost exactly a year between posts! Keen.

(yawn)

So, I was offline for a long time. And it sucked real real real bad. I mean like real bad. Like it sucked more than a prostitute at a vacuum cleaner store in a black hole. But I lived. I'm now back, and I intend to make a couple changes. Like for example: I ain't linking to the mp3 of songs that get stuck in my head anymore. When I was hosted on a friend's box, that was cool. Aloof hosting (my current host) doesn't allow them, so feh. Right now I'm actually kind of tired and don't feel like doing it, but at some point soon I'll flood this thing with the various stuff I wrote down during "The Dark Ages".

word of the moment: resurrection For obvious reasons. Just look at the date on the last post, for chrissake.